Boyfriend or Bum?

By: Akira Thornton

We’ve all been there. Every woman has dealt with a guy that she sees “great potential” in, and yet, this is where so many women go wrong. We’ll fall head over heels for a guy, meanwhile, he is continuously showing red flags that he isn’t the one. We all fall victim to it, in the great lyrics of Beyoncé, “love is so blind, it feels right when it’s wrong.” Sometimes the lust and affection we feel towards the man we’re dealing with can cloud our judgement. Here’s a few warning signs, that he’s not the one.

1. You’re always vying for his attention, and he doesn’t wanna be seen with you in public. If it feels like you are in constant competition with other women over your boyfriend, then he might be telling other women all the amazing and lovely things he’s telling you. Chances are you might not be the only person he’s entertaining, or even worse, he might have a girlfriend. Especially if he only wants you when it’s 3AM, hides from you in public, and when you pull your SnapChat out he tells you he’s having a bad hair day.
2. You’re always making excuses for him and your friends hate him. Now I know your friends might be tough on who you choose to give your time to, but if your boyfriend is constantly standing you up, and always wants to hang with his bros, he might not value time with you as much as you think he does. If you always find that you have to explain his behavior towards you, that might be a sign that he isn’t treating you the way you should be treated.
3. He’s always calling you crazy. A man that calls you crazy is sometimes an accusation men make when you start to catch onto their game. For example, you notice one night he is turning his phone away from you so you can’t see who he’s texting, of course you’re going to question it. This is when they pull the crazy card, relaying to you that you’re always “assuming” or you’re “insecure”. But what are they doing to make you act this way? A man that gets defensive and feels the need to call you out your name is most likely doing exactly what you’re accusing him of.
4. He flakes on you regularly. This is perhaps one of the most important warning signs. A man who flakes on you on several occasions is probably going to check up on the other women he’s giving his time to. He has to balance all of you out one way or another. So if he tells you he’s busy one night and can’t sleep over, it’s probably Maddie’s turn to hang with him tonight.

Any of these signs are red flags that you need to get out of your situation while it’s still early. There are good men out there, it is our job as women to be observant, and hold ourselves to a higher standard when it feels like a man is taking advantage of us.